


his world fell apart

by ambrosegirl717



Category: Professional Wrestling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-22 22:23:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14318409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambrosegirl717/pseuds/ambrosegirl717
Summary: Matt Jackson's life was going great till a video of him goes viral causing the world to hate him. what happens when his world falls apart and he turns to dark ways to cope.  even though the bullying is killing him he starts to bully his brother not caring the toll it is taking. will anyone save him when things too bad he feels like he has nothing left





	1. Chapter 1

a

 

The BTE was in the ring together when things get bad Kenny threw Matt out the ring he fell. Kenny got out the ring he kicked Matt hard in the stomach he threw all over himself a couple of times he noticed that no one but Nick came to his aid. The fans were enjoying it Matt left holding his stomach he had to take a shower. After the show, he had to get a car with everyone to go back to the hotel room no one spoke. Couple hours later the guys were gonna out to eat.

"Matt, we're gonna get something to get you wanna come?"

"No still don't feel well."

"Sorry to hear that."' Nick had his phone on video mode where was Matt was on record Matt decided to vent to himself.

It's a damn shame when I was attacked by someone I thought was my friend and my other friends just stood there not and caring about me. Screw them and the fans too as long as long as have my family by my side that all that matters.

Nick came back when he noticed he didn't have his phone he grabbed he gave Matt a hug he knew he was hurting.

"Nick, did you know your phone is in video mode recording something?"

"No. Thank you, Kenny, for telling me." Nick turned off the video mode and put it in his pocket walking away. 2 days later Nick was editing the latest BTE video he didn't know about the video of Matt rant then he uploaded it. A couple of hours later Matt noticed he's twitter was going off all it was bad and rude comments Matt didn't know why. Why is everyone hating me? What did I do? He wrote on Twitter. A fan wrote back to watch the latest BTE video at 13.25 and you will see. Matt watched it he was shock and mad he went to up Nick.

"What the hell Nick?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You took a video of me at my worst when I was bad mouthing people. That was me blowing off steam because I hurt and sick but you post to the whole world."

"What video?" Matt queued up the part for Nick to watch Nick saw part for the first time.

"What you gonna say about it?"

"This is the first time I'm seeing this. If I knew it was on there I would've cut it." 2 weeks later things got really bad people were now wishing him harm and death threats on Matt he couldn't take it. One night during a match he got cut this time he made him feel better so when got to back to the hotel room he wanted to do it again. He took a loose razor putting to his arm cutting his arm he to feel better it was a good release he watched his arm bleed. A month after everything his world turned into a living nightmare he blamed Nick for it.

"Nick thanks for running my life. You're dead to me so stay out my life."

"I told you I didn't mean to do. What's wrong?"

"Like you care."

"I do really. Something really bad is going on I know it. Let me help you."

"You've done enough."

"You really think I would do all this on purpose? You know me better than that."

"I don't know what to think anymore. I know one of this would have happened if it wasn't for the video. Just say away from me Nick walked out he was sad he couldn't believe Matt would blame everything on him. Now Matt was all alone to deal with everything that was going on. A week later Matt was alone in the locker room he decided to cut before a match he dug it in his arms watching then took a towel to his arm till the bleeding stopped then he put his fishnet thing on. Matt heard a knock at the door he put the towel back in the bag but in rush h forget the razor.

"Who's there?"

"Cody." He opened the door right way Cody noticed the razor with the blood that worried him.

"Matt, what is that razor on the table? Did you cut yourself?"

"No," Matt said that with the nervous tone he tried to talk away but Cody blocked the door not letting him go.

"Matt, what is wrong? Your acting so strange if something is wrong you can tell me."

"Everything is fine. Look I have a match to get to." Cody noticed some blood running down Matt's arm but he didn't care he just licked it off. Matt posted a pic of him in the ring on his social media but got mostly hate when. He waited his was back at his hotel room and ran into the bathroom just as he heard a knock on the door it was Adam.

"Matt I just wanted to know if you were ok." Matt looked he was having panic attack sweating all pale feeling like he couldn't breathe.

"Adam I need to go the bathroom give me like 5 minutes then we'll talk."

"Ok." Matt ran into the bathroom he caught his breath before taking the razor to his arm. Adam walked up to the bathroom door it was a crack he couldn't believe what he saw he tapped on the door.

"Matt I have t go we'd talk later ok."

"Ok." Adam texted everyone but Nick saying meet in my hotel room we need to talk. Shortly after they all met up his room.

"Guys we got a big problem."

"What is it?"

"Matt is doing self-harm to himself. I saw it."

"Earlier I saw blood dripping down his arm and walked away like I didn't bother him."

"Should we tell Nick."

"No. He needs people by his side if we tell Nick he'll definitely won't talk to us again. I don't know what we can do. He's not gonna admit it."

"Why would he do something like that?"

"People are hating on him for what he said. I think he's coping by cutting it must make feel better." Cody challenged Matt to a match he said yes next wee the match would happen. During the match Cody ripped off his fishnet Matt held his arm he gave Cody a dirty look. He went into the corner he looked pale like he was having a panic attack it to go away a little. Cody was able to the pin afterward Matt tried to leave the ring but Cody grabbed his arm.

"Get off of me. I know what you're up to." Cody saw his arm he was in shock at what he saw he couldn't believe that Matt did. When Matt was in back in his locker room alone he made 2 cuts on his arms that made him feel better. Before getting in the cab his friends were waiting for him at the door he knew it wasn't good.

"Matt we need to talk."

"Not in the mood. I'm just too tired maybe another time."

'This is really important."'

"Let me guess Cody told you guys what he saw. I fell in the dark and cut my arm. Look please don't start it's no big deal."

"We're friends you can tell us if something is wrong. Let us help you."

"I'm fine just drop it."

"You're not fine we all know it." Matt didn't answer he just got in the cab driving away later his phone was going off with text from them wanting to talk he turned off his phone. 2 weeks later Nick was worried how strange Matt was acting he knew he won't talk to him so went up to his friends for answers.

"Guys I'm really worried about Matt something is going with him. Do know what is going with him?" They wanted so badly to tell Nick everything but was afraid what Matt would do if he found out.

"Wish we could help you. We've been wondering what is wrong too. Hopefully, he'll tell us when he's ready."

"Wish Matt would talk to me. It's been over a month since he shut me out. If I was still a part of his life I would help him. I'm scared of what he could do because he's not the same person."

"We are too but he doesn't want to talk to anyone about what he's hiding." One night Matt had his "special" water bottle on the table when Adam came in he grabbed it.

"I'm so thirsty."

"That's not water." Before Adam heard him he drank it then ran to the bathroom where he really sick he came out 10 minutes later looking sick.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know. It happened when I took a drink from Matt's water bottle."

"Maybe you caught something."

"Matt's not sick. What the fuck did I drink?" Adam walked into the talk to Matt about the water and see what happened.

"Matt what was in that water bottle?" he acted like he no idea what Adam was talking about lying about everything.

"I don't know I thought it was fine. What happened to you?"

"When I drank from it I got sick."

"Wish I could help you. As far as I know, it was just water. Can you give me some alone time." The moment he was alone he took another water bottle pouring half of the water out then poured ipecac in it shaking it up. He took the other bottle pouring everything down the drain then hid the bottle. Matt did his match-winning it then rushed out so they wouldn't ask any more questions.

"Matt we need to talk."

"Look, Cody, I have a really bad headache I just want to go back to the hotel room and lay down. We'll talk later."

"Ok." Cody didn't believe a word he said he knew Matt didn't want to the happened. The rest of the members of BTE minus Nick started to talk everything that happened.

"I think Matt knows what was in that bottle and he put it in there."

"Like to do more self-harm to himself."

"Yeah. Before I drank it I thought I heard him say to drink it. I wonder what he put in it."

"How many tricks will he have to harm himself?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what happens when Matt takes his self-harm to new dangerous levels n almost get caught. when Nick tries to help his brother Matt says things to him that might change their whole relationship when his youngest brother seeing everything will he keep the secret or tell when he knows and sees the real truth

One night at the airport going to a wrestling even some people started to laugh at Matt calling him mean names. Matt ran into the bathroom he felt like gonna have a panic attack so he took out the razor dragging it across his arm. He sat on the bathroom floor watching him bleed he started to feel better then he heard a knock on the door.

"Matt its Kenny are you ok?"

"Yeah."

"I need to come but you locked the door."

"Give me a minute." Matt cleaned up the blood unlocking the door Kenny noticed a blood spot that made him worry.

"Are you bleeding Matt?"

"No, I ran in here because I thought I was gonna be sick."

"If something is bothering you can tell me and I won't tell Nick." Kenny noticed a blood spot growing on the arm of his hoodie but he didn't say anything. On the plane some people were making fun of him he started to have that feeling he went to the bathroom but it was in use. Matt knew he couldn't do it in front of everyone so he took a sip of his water bottle he looked very pale.

"Kenny I need to the bathroom I'm gonna be sick." Kenny helped him to the bathroom everyone let him go first Matt got sick before he sat on the floor cutting his arms. 5 minutes later he came out looking better Kenny took him back to his seat before Kenny sat down Marty pulled him aside.

"Something is up with Matt. I think he made himself sick to get the bathroom. That is really messed up."

"I agree with you. I feel like if we accuse or gang up against him things will get worse." For the rest the plane trip Matt put on loud music he fell asleep the guys saw he was sweating like he was having a bad dream.

One night Matt was alone in the locker room when he fell hitting his arm noticing the pain felt good she banged his arm a couple of more times. When came out Nick noticed Matt's arm was red and started to swell.

"Matt are you ok? I think you shouldn't go out there." There was no answer Matt stuck his middle finger at Nick he looked back like WTF. After the match, Nick was in shock when saw Matt he was beaten up really badly.

"What did you do this on purpose? Seriously you're sick Matt."

"Stay out of it. This has nothing to do with you."

"Listen to yourself."

"What are you gonna do tell mom and dad? So I got beat in the ring no big deal. If you wanna help me stay out my life. Before you stay something I mean it. I only have one brother." Matt saw Nick cry running away that didn't bother him. All the pain he was in made him feel better but he still cut. Matt took pics of his face he liked the way he looked made him smile. Matt walked out his locker room no one knew what to say to him. Nick was crying Kenny was trying to make things better. Matt could them whispering "I can't believe he did that to his own brother and not even caring." "I didn't think Matt could be so cruel."

"I can hear you. If you something to say about me say to my damn face. You just mad at me because of your friends and want things to go back to normal."

 

Matt, you're talking crazy." He didn't respond just walked away getting a cab going to the hotel room. Nick had to be at the same event as Matt he couldn't he was still crying he booked a flight home before doing the airport he wrote on twitter. After the event, I caught some stomach thing and got really sick and had to go home. When I feel better I'll be back. Sorry for letting you guys down

 

Around 1 am he arrived back in CA Nick drove managed to get some sleep. The next day wanted to go see his parents he had to fix his appearance he looked like shit with bloodshot red eyes. His parents were shocked to see he was home he saw Malachi was there too.

"How come you came home I thought you had another week?"

"It's just me mom Matt is still on the road. I hurt my arm and thought it would better to come home."

"Nick, did you really hurt your arm? Why is the reason your really home?"

"I think I caught a cold and didn't want to worry you." 10 minutes later Mal took Nick outside he wanted to talk to him.

"Nick something happened on the road I know you not sick or hurt."

"I don't wanna talk about."

"Matt did something I saw how weird he was acting during his match."

"Yeah. Malachi, he's really sick. You gonna promise me you won't believe anything he says."

"Why?"

"You just gotta trust me. He'll try to get you on his side and convince you everything is fine with him."

"I don't know."

"Mal I wouldn't tell to do anything that was bad."

"I guess. Tell me what he did."

"He told me I was dead to him and in his eyes Mal you're his only brother."

"What did you do?"

"Long story."

"That's messed up. I'm sorry." 2 weeks later Nick showed up back on tour it seemed like Matt was worst off he didn't even recognize his brother because he was beaten so badly he wanted to cry. He went to find Kenny, Adam, and Marty to find out what happened.

"Kenny is the hell happened?"

"I think Matt getting really beat on purpose it makes him feel good. He's gotten really scary even tried to get us to do it by starting fights. He needs bad. I'm scared if this continues something really is gonna happen."

"That's messed up." That night Matt was told he had to take a week off do the way he looked he knew he had tone it down

 

A week later

Matt's face was cleaned up he looked more like himself he started to ask normal but no one was convinced. What Marty said to Adam about the way made Matt mad.

"Adam he's only acting normal because he almost got caught. Who is he trying fool?"

"I agree."

"I'm better. Just had been in a bad mood lately."

"Bullshit we all know the truth."

"I don't care." During his match, Matt was fighting like he when he got his hand wrapped a metal guardrail it was bent everyone knew it was broken but Matt was smiling.

"OMG Matt Jackson broke his hand. Why isn't screaming in pain? It looks like it didn't faze him at all." Matt felt that feeling it made everything better forgetting he was in the ring. Later at the hospital, Matt had to pretend that the pain bothered him. When waiting for x-ray Kenny and Matt started to talk.

"Tell me the truth did you get high from the pain?"

"Maybe. Look this time it was all an accident. I didn't break it on purpose if that's what you thought."

"That's not normal." Matt heard his phone go off they said how it made them happy to see him get heard and other mean comments. He wanted to harm himself but couldn't he was in the hospital. Kenny could tell Matt was hurting looking like he was gonna have a panic attack."

"Matt breathe everything is gonna be ok."

"I need to get out of here."

"You'll be fine I'm here and I'll help you." An hour later they left the hospital Matt had a cast on his hand when he was alone he pulled out his razor and cut his arm he felt better. When he woke up he saw the bed had blood on it where his arm was bleeding. Matt was gonna go home because of his arm and Nick didn't feel right with him alone. Nick noticed that Matt had his suitcases ready heading for a cab.

"Where are you going?"

"What's it to you?"

"If you leaving to home you can stay."

"You did this. Let me guess you're scared if go home I might really hurt myself. I'm fine now. What do I have to have to say to get you out of my life?"

"Rather you like or not I'm your brother and I'm always gonna love you. I'm not gonna stop caring and love you because you want me to."

"If you really cared you'd leave me alone. I'm leaving what are you gonna do about that? Are you gonna fly to CA and drag me back?"

"I don't wanna watch you slowly kill yourself." Matt didn't respond he saw how Nick looked like he wanted to cry but Nick just watched him get the cab and drive away. Please don't let anything bad happened to him when he's gone Nick thought to himself trying not to cry.

Flashback to 1997

Matt is 12 and Nick 8

Matt came home from school going upstairs he heard crying it was coming from Nick's room.

"Nick, why are you crying?"

"Someone at school was making fun of me."

"Don't' cry I hate then you're upset, Matt hugged his brother till he stopped crying wiping away his tears.

"I'll be there for you no matter what, anytime yours hurting or upset you can come to him and I'll make it better."

"You're too sweet. I love you, Matt."

"I love you too Nick."

End of flashback

A month later

The brothers met up at family BBQ they didn't say anything Matt show Nick dirty look before walking away. An hour later Matt was sitting under a tree when his phone went off he saw all the men comments. Matt pulled his razor he cut his arm he wanted himself belled them he put his fishnet things not knowing Malachi saw it all. As he was walking away he ran into Malachi who had a worried looked on his face.

"Matt I saw what you did."

"I didn't do anything."

"Why did you cut your arm?"

"You wouldn't understand let's leave it that. Look, Malachi, you can't tell anyone what you promise me." Malachi thought bout Nick told him he's really sick you can't believe anything he says.

"Just promise it's a one-time thing."

"Ok promise it's a one-time thing." Matt locked Malachi in a pinky promise that made Mal felt sick promising Matt that. Even after that Nick said Malachi still trusted Matt because he believed him. Nick went to Malachi to see what was wrong.

"Mal are you ok?"

"Yeah just have a lot on my mind."

"You can tell if you want."

"That's ok. You told me that Matt was sick what is wrong with him?"

"Malachi he's been self-harming himself to deal with it ll. It's scary to watch. He needs help." Hearing all that made Malachi felt like he was gonna be sick what the hell did I do? I promise that I'll keep his secret but is it as bad as Nick said. He thought himself

"Malachi are you sure you ok?"

"I just need to lay down." he tried to find Matt to talk to him but by this time Matt was long so he called him but went to voicemail so he texted him.

It's Mal we really need to talk. Would you come to my house later? Matt wrote back

Malachi are you doing all this because of Nick. Don't listen to him about me. I did it to know what would feel like what I would feel like. Everything is fine. Malachi didn't know what to write back

So you would tell me if something was really wrong with you?

Of course Mal. you know I wouldn't do any of that. We'll talk before I got back on the road.

Malachi didn't know who to believe but the Matt was talking he sounded a little crazy. He didn't want to take sides because he loved them both. Nick heard his text notifications go of it was Matt

Now you're telling Malachi BS about me. Only if Malachi knew the truth. What are you gonna do get the whole family to turn their back on me? I don't think Mal believes you I don't wanna hear your BS don't write back.

2 weeks later Matt goes his cast off and went on back on road Nick went to call Matt but the number you dialed is no longer in service. He blocked my number from calling and texting me no surprise there. Nick thought to himself. Before going on the road he stopped to Malachi he wanted to talk to about everything.

"Mal Nick is overreaction about everything. It's nothing bad as Nick thinks."

"But it's bad you're cutting your arm."

"Some wrestler told me if do it it'll help me with stress so I tried it out. It wasn't a big cut I made a small prick on my arm."

"You think that's makes it ok."

"Mal it was one time not like do this all the time. You know I would do it like that."

"I know but still."

"Malachi you have to keep this secret or nick will tell mom and get sent away because I'm crazy. Mal I'm not crazy please help me out.

"Ok, Matt I still don't feel right about all these."

"No one is going get hurt if you help me keep this secret. Mal I wouldn't ask you to do anything that was wrong or could hurt anyone. Also, you can't tell Nick anything we talked."

"Ok, Matt."

"You're the best brother Mal." Malachi felt uneasy about everything he truly wanted to believe matt. The two hugged as they were hugging Mal could see the mark on his arms that made him feel sick but he didn't say a word. After Matt left Malachi called Nick get some answered some he didn't want to know but had too.

Nick, we need to talk."

"What's wrong Mal?"

"Have you seen Matt's arms?"

"Briefly I know he has cut down them. What did you see him cut again?"

"No, but saw a glance."

"Don't let Matt know you know or he'll get mean and shut down."

"Ok, thanks, Nick. Have a great time." Everything Malachi heard made him sick and worried but wasn't sure what to believe or do about it. Maybe if I play I'm on his side he'll tell me the real truth Mal thought to himself


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an old friend comes back in Matt's life for the all the wrong reasons. when Adam sees what is really going on he is still gonna support him or tell people. when things really bad sometimes being there for brother is hard when he, not the same person

Alone in the room Matt heard his phone go off it was Adam Cole what did he want it been a while since they spoke.

"Hi, Adam."

"Hi, Matt."

"What do you want?"

"Heard you going through some tough times. Also heard you were doing scary stuff to deal."

"Let me guess Nick told you."

"Haven't talked to Nick since that incident just heard it around."

"It's not true don't believe it."

"If you need someone to talk to I'm here." Should I trust Adam he mad Nick sick but Adam seems to care more? Screw Nick Matt thought to himself."

"I'd like that. Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Tell me everything you hear about me."

"Will do." 2 weeks later ROH and WWE closer so Adam came to see him. Matt didn't know he was coming. So he didn't hide his arms. Matt heard a knock at the door he got nervous he threw on a hoodie going towards the door.

"Who's there?"

"Page?'

"No Cole. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah." As they were catching it go hot Matt had no choice to take off the hoodie right away Adam noticed his arms.

"Matt, what happened?'

"I feel in a bad wrestling accident."

"They look like you did it to yourself." Matt reached for his special bottle feeling like he was gonna a panic attack.

"I really did fall you gotta believe me."

"Calm down I do. If you feel then you did."

"Thank you, Adam. Look I have to get ready give me 5 minds." Matt grabbed his bad going into the bathroom Adam heard the door lock he thought that was weird. Before changing in his wrestling gear he cut his arm he put everything in his bag and got changed.

"Sorry if that took longer." Matt put on his hoodie Adam noticed a blood spot on the sleeve it was getting bigger. When they got out of the hotel Nick and Matt met up he saw Adam the two shot each other dirty looks.

"Why is he here?"

"I'm here to see Matt." Nick pulled Matt he looked angry and concerned so they would talk in private.

"Remember what he did to me he can't be trusted."

"I can say the same about you. Do I look like I care? I bet you did deserve it. "

"Don't say things you can't take back."

"Oh, why did I hurt your feelings well good? The last time I checked I'm the older brother and you're not my keeper. You can't stand it to see me with someone who really cares." Matt slapped Nick hard he feel the ground he was trying really hard not to cry. Nick got up he ran back into the hotel room he did recognize his own brother. Nick got up he ran into the bathroom by this time tears were streaming down his face he texted Kenny.

Look tell them I'll be a little late. My stomach hurts I need to lay down for about 20 minutes.

Nick got into on of bathroom stall sitting on the floor he put his head in his lap just crying for a while before getting the cab going the arena. He wanted to skip it but couldn't let down the fans down. When Kenny saw Nick he knew something was wrong.

"What's wrong? You look like you've been crying."

"Don't wanna talk about it."

"It was Matt wasn't it?"

"Yeah. He really scares me. I wanna tell our parents but afraid what might happen."

"Afraid of what he'll do to himself?"

"That and what he could do to others. I think if something bad happened to me he'd be happy like I had it coming." Kenny noticed Nick was bleeding from his arms and hand.

"Did you know your bleeding?"

"No where?" Kenny showed him the scraps in the mirror he cleaned himself up before his match.

"How did it happen?"

"From the fall when Matt slapped me. I just was so upset I didn't notice." somehow everyone found out about Matt being friends with Adam the comments were even worse. Matt pulled the razor dragging it across his arm he didn't stop even after he saw all the blood. He heard people standing for Nick he couldn't believe it because if it wasn't for him none of this would have happened. Couple hours later Matt was stumbling around like he was out of it his hoodie sleeve had so much blood on it Nick pulled him aside.

"What did you do slit your wrist?"

"Get off of me. This all your fault. You the reason my world is f'd up. Open your eyes everyone hates because of you." Nick managed to pull up his sleeve saw the cut his arms were covered in blood he didn't believe what he saw.

"Matt you need a hospital."

"I'm fine it happened during a match."

"Bull. I know you did it to yourself."

"Once again mind your business." Nick saw all blood from where Matt was standing he knew it was bad Matt got to where Adam was before passing out.

"Adam he needs a hospital." Matt woke up in the hospital tied down he saw his arm was bandaged up.

"What is going on and why can't I move my arms?"

"Mr. Massie we tied you down so you can't hurt yourself."

"Look I didn't try to kill myself I fell during a wrestling match. I want to go home."

"Before you out you should talk to someone."

"I can call my brother first?" Matt called Adam on the phone to come down and tell down the truth he showed up about 5 minutes later.

"My brother fell doing a match I saw it happen."

"That doesn't explain all the other cuts."

"It all happened during matches. If you let him go it won't happen again." They let Matt leave the two of them didn't tell Nick everything. Matt just showed up back to the hotel bandaged up. The moment they learned about the hospital the messaged got worse about how he turned to kill himself. Matt ran into his hotel room he didn't care that Adam came in he saw on the bed cutting his Adam watched it.

"I can't believe it. Doesn't that hurt?"

"No, it feels so good like a release. Now you know you gonna tell?"

"No, if you don't want me to."

"So this doesn't bother you?"

"I don't know. Why do you hate Nick?"

"The only reason I'm getting hate is because of him. He keeps acting like it was an accident I don't believe it."

"That's fucked up he would do that to you."

"I told me he's dead to me. I think it hurt him to know were friends and your there for me after what you did." Matt heard a knock at the door he knew it was he didn't want to answer it.

"Nick go away."

"Give a minute."

"Fine." Matt opened the door the way he looked at Nick he didn't want Adam around Matt.

"I heard you were in the hospital. How did you leave because I bet they thought you did it to yourself?"

"They didn't think that. The doctor thought I injured myself."

"Bull. I bet you got Adam to lie for you."

"Why can't admit I'm fine."

"Because you're not fine everyone knows it."

"He's fine Nick."

"I don't want you around my brother because he's really sick and needs help. What your doing is gonna hurt him.'"

"All is all your fault and you want help him that messed up. Why can't you just leave him alone like he wants?"

"Adam you don't know the whole story and you don't really care because if you did you would've left in the hospital."

"Matt watched the two fights Adam punched Nick in the face you could see blood Nick saw that Matt was smiling.

"Have a fun time watching him slowly kill himself. When it happens you gonna wish you did more." Nick walked away the way he talked he sounded like was done.

"What did he mean?"

"Don't pay him no mind." back at Nick's hotel room he cried again I can't just walk away from all of this but can't watch him like this Nick though himself. Soon after Nick’s phone went off it was his mom he feel like talking so he put away he didn’t she called Matt.

 

“Matt hun do you know if Nick is ok?”

“No really sick. Look I’m really tried we’ll talk later.” Matt didn’t feel bad for saying that he just laughed he took off his bandage he saw the stitches he ran his finger off it smiling taking a pic of it. Nick heard his phone going off like crazy it was making him mad so he picked it up.

“What?”

“Do take that tone with me .you don’t sound sick.”

“Sorry, mom. What are you talking about?”

“Matt said you were really sick.” Nick so badly wanted to tell her but how Matt harming himself.

“I have a bad headache that it’s. Mom next time you can’t reach me talk to Mal about it not Matt.”

“How come?”

“Long story just do it for me.”

“Of course honey. If something was wrong you’d tell us?”

“Yeah, mom.” The next day Nick and Matt met up things got heated Nick look like wanted to kill him.

“Its f’d up to tell mom I’m really sick. I know you hate you but why do that to her?”

“Thought it was funny.”

“Would you tell her I died for a laugh?”

“Get over it.” the two went into Matt’s hotel room they started to fight bad during the fight Nick had his hand around Matt’s neck when Matt grabbed his razor slashing him twice in the face. Nick could feel blood running down his face he grabbed cheek looking back at Matt looked proud.

“What the hell you took it too far. Open your eyes you’re a bully. I love you but find me when the old Matt returns. What would you have done if I told mom how you really hurt your arm? I’m the one keeping your secrets but don't care.” Nick walked out still holding his cheek Kenny saw him he knew it was bad.

“Kenny I need to go to the hospital.”

“Why?”

“You know why.” Kenny pulled nick’s hand away he saw the deep cut and couldn’t believe that Matt could go that far. Nick needed 15 stitches to close it driving back to the hotel they started to talk.

“I can’t do this anymore I’m done for right now. I need you do a huge a favor?”

“Anything for you.”

“I need you to watch Matt because for awhile I have to go to a different federation to get away from Matt.”

“I will.” A month later Nick was now in impact still under the name Nick Jackson. He wrote to his fans: do to reasons I can’t explain at the time I have to take a break from ROH and I’ll be in Impact for a while. Matt had nothing to do with this so don’t hate on him for this. I’ll be back I love you guys and I'll miss you. Thank you for understanding Nick only told Malachi the truth luckily for Matt their parents didn’t find the real reason.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when things get too much will Matt do the unthinkable or back out at the last minute. after everything going on Nick wants to good old days when Matt the brother he wishes was. when Nick learns more dark truths about Matt him and Malachi have no choice how to tell their mom everything. what will their mom do when learns the truth

Flashback to that big fight  
Nick and Matt met back up Nick thought if Matt saw his face he'd be sorry.  
"Matt look at what you did." Matt looked glad he was smiling that part didn't surprise Nick.  
"How many times do I have to I hate you? I hate you and I don't care about you. In my world, you'll dead to me."  
"I know you don't mean it. Once against don't say anything you can't take back."  
"Why because you can't handle the truth? Does the upset you to know your own brother hates you. If I kill myself it'll be all your fault and gonna explain that to mom. If you had stayed out my life none of this would've happened." Nick ran off crying Matt just walked away like that didn't bother him. That was the time they saw or spoke because Nick switched federations.  
A year later  
Kenny noticed Matt brought a journal writing in it he thought it was a good idea he called up Nick.  
"Hey, Nick miss you."  
"Miss you too."  
"I think Matt found a way to let his feelings out in a healthy way."  
"That's good, next month I join you guys again."  
"The guys will be happy. Matt won't like it but who cares." One night as they were leaving Matt's journal fell out opened up Nick picked it he was shocked at what he saw. Matt noticed Nick walking to him up grabbing it back he was pissed.  
"What is wrong with you? Mind you own fing business."  
"It was open when I picked it up."  
"But you looked at it instead of closing it."  
"I'm sorry."  
"Come one who are you trying to fool? Why can't but out of it." Nick walked towards the guys Matt knew they were talking about him.  
"What is wrong Nick?"  
"That journal Kenny is about ways to end it all."  
"OMG, that's fucked up. You need to tell someone."  
"I don't believe he'll actually do it." Nick wasn't all that sure if everything he believed but he wanted to think it. He knew he wasn't ready to his parents so he Malachi calling him up.  
"Mal we need to talk."  
"About what?"  
"I think Matt might be trying to end it all."  
"That's really scary are you sure?"  
"He's been writing about it. I want to believe it's not true but everything I don't know what to believe anymore." Nick didn't know that Matt could hear everything Nick was saying.  
"Stop trying to turn Malachi against me. Mal if you hear me I'm fine. One day he's gonna find out you're full of it and turn against you. I'm tired of you and your lies keep them to yourself. What do you think I'm gonna do if you get everything to turn their backs on me."  
"Guys stop it. I love you both and I'm gonna be switches sides to please you guys, I don't know what is wrong you but you have to stop Matt."  
"I'm fing fine screw you, Malachi."  
"I didn't mean it like that." Before he could finish Matt walked away but turned around just to stick his middle finger at Nick.  
"Malachi don't pay Matt any mind. Sorry about that. We'll talk later love you."  
"Its ok and I love you too." Nick was glad that Malachi heard how to mean Matt was to him now he couldn't deny it. Matt wanted to talk to Mal but after everything, he couldn't lie his way out it. He just hoped that Malachi didn't do anything like tell mom. Matt decided to shoot Malachi a text:  
Sorry, Mal didn't mean to yell at you. I was mad at Nick and I took it out on you. Please don't tell anyone I'll explain everything to you. I love you.  
Matt got a text back he was a little nervous at what Mal would say back  
I understand and I won't tell anyone anything you tell me. It just kinda scared me to hear to talk to Nick like that. I can come to see you.  
It has to be a secret from Nick he'll just try to keep you away from me. Come in 2 days  
2 days later Malachi showed in NYC to see Matt he felt bad for not telling Nick. He came to Matt's hotel room knocking on the door.  
"Matt its Mal." Matt hid everything so he wouldn't know what was really going on. He let him in the two brothers sat on the bed and just talked.  
"The journal that he talks about are drawing I'm doing that are dark and he flipped. I tried to explain but he wouldn't hear it. I had a bad accident in the ring cutting my arm but thought I did it to myself even though he was there."  
"Can I see the drawings?"  
"Not ready to show them to anyone. Mal you know I wouldn't do anything that bad."  
"Then why would Nick say it?"  
"I don't know. If anything was that bad I'd tell you."  
"Why were so mean to Nick on the phone?"  
"Things you wouldn't understand I don't wanna talk about it. I know Nick is gonna tell why but don't believe it I would never hurt Nick." Matt didn't know that Malachi knew about the razor attack hopefully he wouldn't believe him.  
"Matt why do get all defensive when I ask or talk about certain things?" Matt didn't know what to say to Malachi what the hell has Nick been telling him? He thought to himself.  
"Malachi I got a lot of things going on that I want to keep to myself. We're all entitled to our secrets. Don't worry they're not bad. I just don't like being pressed in telling hope you understand."  
"Yeah, I do. I'm sorry if I made feel like that."  
"You didn't know." Matt hugged Mal as they were Mal saw his arm a little and tried to pull up his hoodie sleeve Matt caught him pushing him giving a dirty look.  
"What the hell Mal? You don't trust me?"  
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have."  
"Tell me right here right now do you trust me, Malachi? Because your actions tells me a different something else. Don't tell any BS I get enough of that from Nick."  
"I trust you and you know that."  
"Last night I fell hard in a match scrapping up my arm that's what you saw? I love seeing you but I wanna rest some later we'll go out to eat around 7. You have to promise me anything I tell in private you can't repeat no matter what."  
"Promise you can count on me."  
"Thank you." the brothers hugged one more time before Malachi left when he was gone Matt pulled out his razor and cut his him after everything that just went on. A couple hours later Malachi showed up at the door he opened the door with the card Matt didn't hear him. Mal went looking for him Matt was lying on the bathroom floor. Matt put the razor to his arm cutting watching the blood drip down he looked up seeing Malachi. He grabbed the towel wrapping his arm kicking the razor away.  
"Malachi, what are you doing here?"  
"You asked me to come."  
"It's not what you think. I fell hitting my arm."  
"Bull I saw you cut. Show me."  
"Why so you can take a pic and show it to Nick or mom and dad?'  
"So I can help you."  
"I'm fine I swear. I had a slip-up and this the first time since I promised you." Malachi knew Matt was lying he didn't know what to do.  
"Fine whatever Matt." he rolled his eyes at him Mal saw Matt take a drink of a water bottle a couple minutes he got really sick did he just make himself sick Mal thought to himself.  
"Look Mal I don't feel good we have to this another time."  
"Feel better." Malachi left going back to this hotel room where wanted to call Nick he needed answers.  
"Hey, Nick. Can we talk?"  
"What's up?"  
"Has Matt ever made himself sick?"  
"I've heard stories about it. Nothing Matt could do would surprise me anymore. Did you see Matt do it?"  
"I don't know if I should say anything."  
"Why Matt told you not to? Malachi if you're worried about Matt you say something?"  
"Next time you see him check out the water bottle he carries around it's not water." one night after all the comment Matt went the roof his hotel standing on the ledge he stuck one foot out like he was gonna fall. He backed off I can't do this to my parents Matt thought himself. He ran into Nick in the elevator Nick where he came from.  
"What the f were gonna do jump I can't believe you."  
"Calm down I didn't do anything."  
"Calm down you almost killed yourself and you want to act like it was no big deal. You don't get I love you and I don't want to you die. I need you here with me." Nick went to hug Matt but he pushed Nick away by this time it was Matt's floor he got out walking away not saying anything a word or looking back at him. 

That night Nick laid down to sleep he started to dream him and Matt when they were younger  
Flashbacks  
Matt is 8 and Nick is 4  
In the middle of the night Matt heard his door open he saw Nick he came up to Matt.  
"Matt can I sleep here I don't feel so good."  
"Sure. What's wrong?"  
"My tummy hurts." Nick got on the other side of the bed he grabbed his brother hand the two fell asleep. Couple hours later Matt was woken up to Nick getting sick he came into the bathroom he rubbed his back staying with him till their parents work up.  
Matt is 14 Nick is 10 and Malachi 9  
Matt was watching his brothers Matt turn his back on them to watch a movie Nick and Mal went outside Nick got a ladder to climb on the roof.  
"Malachi join me we can see everything."  
"I don't wanna get hurt." Nick got on the top of roof walking around when he lost his balance falling off he screamed Matt ran outside. He saw Nick crying lying on the ground grabbed his leg.  
"What happened?"  
"He fell off the roof." He didn't know what to do he couldn't use the care but he couldn't call mom and dad.  
"Look we have to the hospital and I have to drive. We tell mom I took the car." Matt grabbed the keys to the car helping Nick the back Malachi looked a little scared. Nick ended up breaking his leg and left arm Matt told him to say he fell down the stairs. Before going home he took the boys to McDonald's and out to ice cream. The whole time he was hurt Matt helped Nick with everything he loved that he even helped him to school.  
"Matt thanks for helping me it means a lot."  
"I'll always be there to help you when you need. Brothers are supposed to be there for each other."  
Flashbacks over  
Nick woke up sweating and was crying he wanted to call up his mom but why would I say to her he thought to himself. Nick ending up crying himself to sleep repeating what Matt told him when was 10. A couple hours later Kenny came into his room waking him up.  
"Nick wake up we need to the airport."  
"Brothers are supposed to be there for each other."  
"What are talking about?"  
"Never mind bad dreams. Sorry, bad night." Kenny helped him pack they left not bothering to tell Matt.  
"Wanna talk about last night."  
"If I tell you can't tell anyone."  
"Promise."  
"Matt tried to kill himself last night. I was dreaming about how Matt would always be there for me."  
"OMG, how?"  
"I think he was gonna jump off the roof."  
"That's fucked up. How do you know?"  
"He was coming from the roof when met in the elevator."  
One night on a plane to Japan Matt was forced to sit close to Nick he noticed Matt was on his laptop doing some kind of chat. When Matt went to the bathroom Nick checked it was a chat room where people talk about suicide Matt was using a different name. Nick logged on his facebook he needed to talk to Mal.  
Mal we need to talk it's serious.  
What's wrong?  
Matt is talking to people about how to kill himself. When we got back in the states we need to tell mom everything.  
I agree. I didn't wanna believe he go that far. Do you think he would ever try?  
Yes, I hate to say that. We'll talk later  
Bye  
Nick wanted to show badly share a hotel room with Matt but knew would never go for it because Nick was scared knowing Matt was all alone. The next day called his room he was hoping he would try to do this without telling her.  
"Mom its Nick."  
"Hi, honey."  
"When I come home in 2 days Malachi and I need to see you to talk."  
"Something is wrong."  
Yeah, we'll tell you everything. You just have to promise not to tell Matt."  
"Promise." She knew it was bad and wondered why she couldn't Matt but trusted Nick. 2 days later Nick and Malachi showed up to her house the three of them sat on the couch and talked.  
"Mom Matt needs help."  
"What's wrong with him?"  
"After being made fun of Matt's been harming himself and making himself sick."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Mom I saw it with my own eyes when I was alone with him. It was scary to see. When I first saw Matt made me promise not to tell."  
"Matt carries around a water bottle with stuff that making himself throw up. He once cut himself so bad he needed to go the hospital. I've never seen do it but I've seen the scars." Scars from cutting and making himself sick. What is wrong with my mom would do this? Barb thought to herself.  
"We need to get Matt here so we can get to admit what is going on."  
"Good idea mom. Matt will get mad and say mean stuff to Malachi and me."  
"Nick honey how long has this been going on?"  
"A year. He's getting scar he's not the same Matt you know. The things he's done and said aren't like him. "  
'What has he's done?"  
"Been acting like a bully towards me making cry. Remember when I come home and told you I was sick I wasn't I just had to get always from Matt the same reason I went to impact for a while. During a fight, he cut me and didn't even care he hurt me."  
"Why would he act like that?"  
"He blames for the hate he gets because of a clip of him I accident videoed and posed. He thinks I meant to do it." Nick was trying to real hard not to cry but talking about everything was hard his mom put her arms around him holding Nick tight. After they left she sit there trying to wrap her around everything her sons told and trying to understand why Matt would harm himself. She cried a little at everything if things were so bad why he didn't come to me instead of turning to self-harm. Barb thought herself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of Matt secrets are told what will do when his mom learns the truth and she learns Matt's not the sweet son she knows. When things get out of the hand will Matt finally have to face the consequences or will get away it. When things too much he turns to his brother for help but uses him what will happened when Mal learns what he helped Matt do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter songs  
> full of grace by sarah mclachlan

A week later Barb called her son Matt she still wasn't sure what to say.  
"Hi, Matt."  
"Hi, mom."  
"I want to you to come over this weekend."  
"How come?"  
"It's been awhile since the two of us just hung out."  
"I'll be there." After they hung she texted Nick and Malachi to say it was on he was coming over,  
Saturday  
Matt showed up he had no idea what was going on but when come inside he saw his brothers and figured something was up.  
"Mom, what is going on here?"  
"We're here to help you."  
"Both of you told didn't you."  
"We had to tell."  
"Matt honey shows me your arms." Matt just stood there he shot his brothers dirty looks his mom went to him she saw the hurt in his eyes.  
"Mom they're lying to you."  
"Then why don't you show me your arms if you not nothing to hide." That's when Malachi went to up him pulling off the fishnet things he hit him in the face. The moment she saw Matt's arms she started to cry. Matt picked his water bottle to go to the bathroom his mom stopped him.  
"You can go but you can't take the bottle." In the bathroom, he started to feel like he was having a panic attack and nothing to make it better. Matt walked up the bathroom window putting his through it he started to bleed feeling much better he grabbed a towel wrapping his arm before going back out there.  
"What happened in there?" Matt didn't answer but she knew it was bad with all the blood on the floor Nick managed to get the towel his mom was in shock seeing his arm. Matt had glass in his hand and arms with all the blood running down his arm. Matt started to fight Nick it got out hand real quick Malachi tried to break it up but Matt threw him into the wall when he was done Nick wasn't moving.  
"Malachi you promised not to tell. Nick put you up to this right?"  
"You're sick. Look at yourself. I can't do this anymore."  
"You were supposed to care about me and keep my secrets. Malachi you just like Nick trying to ruin my life."  
"Matt honey why do you this to yourself?"  
"You wouldn't understand. Look at what you did Malachi hope you're happy.  
"You need help. "  
"I'm fine. Those are just wrestling injuries."  
"Don't lie to me. Matt, you think I'm that dumb."  
"I love you Mom but Malachi you dead to me. Tell Nick that when he wakes but you always knows that just doesn't want to believe it. I need to go and be alone."  
"Why so you can go cut some more?"  
"Shut up Malachi." He grabbed his water running out of the house getting in his car driving away. Malachi started to cry his mom went to him putting her arm around him. The two of them tried to wake up nick but couldn't so Malachi helped mom put in the car they took him to the hospital. Nick woke up 20 minutes later he had a black eye broken nose and stitches in his face where the glass cut him. After all of that Barb couldn't believe that was her son she still wanted to talk to him but what would she say. Everything was a blur but Nick knew Matt had something to do with it. The next day Matt woke up he remembered everything he panicked mom everything he thought to himself. Had to text his mom what would he say to her to make things better  
Hi, mom, it's Matt sorry for everything. Yesterday I was in a bad mood and it took out on Nick I didn't mean to make it that far. She answered him she didn't believe him  
Matt, you need to apologize to your brothers. I know you didn't hate Malachi. Nick got really hurt you need to tell him you never meant to hurt him  
Look, mom, I'm not too ready to make things right but I know Mal knows I didn't mean it. I'm not feeling to go or I would come over to see how Nick is doing. Matt didn't care what happened to Nick. A part of him was glad Nick was hurt. He meant everything he said to Malachi  
Ok honey feels better.  
Love you too  
Barb didn't believe him and felt bad for pretending to believe his hope Malachi doesn't like Nick and won't take a hint and won't leave me alone. That he knows how I truly feel about him Matt thought to himself. He never showed before going back on the road. The two met back up at the hotel it was the first time he what had done to Nick.  
"Mom still things you care about me. I bet you told her some lie about why you attacked me. Malachi told you told him he's dead to you now. You can't shut everyone out."  
"I trusted him and look what it got me. I don't need anyone."  
"Why so you can have reason to end it all. We did that because we care about you and I know you know that.  
"You must have said something to him Malachi or he wouldn't have done it. Are you even cleaned to be here?" the two of them started to fight Kenny had to get in between them before that Matt got two punches.  
"Stop this. I know you guys don't get along but you can't hurt your brother."  
"Watch me." Matt grabbed Nick but his hair grabbed outside he threw him into a metal pole he started to bleed a lot when he superkicked him into the side of the hotel Nick wasn't moving. Matt didn't care he just walked away not looking back. Kenny ran to Nick he knew he had to get him to the hospital. Marty stopped Matt before he was able to go in his hotel room.  
"What the fuck was that?"  
"Why because I beat up Nick look I don't care. Don't blame me that Nick can't handle being in a fight with me."  
"That wasn't a fight you attacked him. You're lucky no one called the cops." Matt didn't answer him he just went in his hotel slamming the door in Marty's face. Nick didn’t tell the fans the truth he said: sorry I couldn’t be in the match I got super sick right before heading there. It may take awhile to get better.  
Matt saw Nick his face all bruised up he had head all bandaged up Nick was having problems walking they just looked at each other.  
“Thanks to you it could take a month before I can wrestle. You don’t even care. I wonder what mom would think.”  
“Tell her I don't care. I don’t wanna hurt her feeling but I know she knows how I feel about you.” Nick lifted up his shirt his ribs were banged up and his chest was covered in bruises.  
“I bet you’ll gonna tell everyone what I did.”  
“I wouldn’t do that. They think I’m really sick. You know I wouldn’t hurt you like that.”  
“I don’t believe you. You’re the reason this is going on and you wanna act like you care save it for someone who believes you.”  
“Deep down inside you know I care about you.”  
“You never tried to fix this when it happened.” Nick realized Matt was right hearing that broke his heart. I didn’t even help Matt when all this started. I’m a part of it too Nick thought to himself. Nick knew it would too late to try to fix this.  
5 months later  
Matt tried for a while to get the dark thought out of his head things were even worse so he called Adam for support but he didn't pick up or called him back Matt thought of one other person to help hopefully Malachi would pick up.  
“Hi, Mal please hear me out.”  
“Fine.”  
“I’m sorry for everything I didn't mean what I said to you I just in bad mood. I need your help.” “Help with what?”  
“I need you to get me extra strength sleeping pills 2 boxes. Mal I haven’t slept for 2 weeks and started to affect my wrestling. I have 2 weeks off I’ll just try to sleep it off.”  
“Sure I’ll help you. Why can’t you get yourself?”  
“If I got them Nick would just take them away from thinking I would try to kill myself.”  
“Understand. When you come over I’ll have them for you.”  
“I’m lucky to have a brother like you. I love you, Malachi. One last thing you can't tell Nick.”  
“I won’t. I love you too Matt.” Matt felt bad for lying to Malachi and tricking him into helping do something bad Matt knew what he was doing with the pills and Mal had no idea. I know it's wrong to trick Mal into getting pills using to kill myself I know Malachi will understand one day Matt thought to himself.  
2 weeks later  
Matt and Nick had their time off and come Matt went to find Malachi he handed him the pills two hugged Nick watched the whole thing.  
“What is going on here?”  
“Just two brothers glad to see each other.”  
“Malachi really I know something is up. What did you do for Matt?”  
“Picked up some meds for him he's not feeling too good.”  
“Bull Malachi he’s using you and I know he’s not sick. Don’t lie for him.” Malachi wasn’t sure what to do he didn’t answer Nick he just walked away. Matt went up to his old bedroom with a glass of water he opened up the boxes taking all the pills he started to feel weird as he lied on the bed. An hour later no one heard from Matt so Barb went upstarts fining him on the bed.  
“Matt are you ok? There was no answer she went up to shaking up he didn’t respond.  
“Matt wake up.” Malachi and Nick heard their mom scream so they came into his room they saw Matt lying there no moving. What did I do? This all my fault Malachi thought to himself. Barb called 911 they helped her try to get him to breathe 10 minutes the EMTs showed taking off helping Matt as they were wheeling out the house someone as streaming it Instagram and twitter there were mean comments.  
“This l my fault I’m so sorry.”  
“Malachi, what do you mean?”  
“I got him to get the pills. I swear I didn’t know he was gonna use them to kill himself.  
“It’s not your fault you didn't know. I told you Matt used you. I knew the whole what they were first he lied to you. Don’t beat yourself up.” He ran to the bathroom getting sick he sat on the bathroom floor he started to cry his mom and Nick went to him putting their arms around him.  
“Malachi everything will be ok.”  
“I can’t believe Matt would use me like that and not care what it would do to me. He’s a selfish jerk. “


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt gets luck after his attempt. what happens when Matt learns there is so much even family can take. what happens in two moments both of his secrets come to light almost ruining his career.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N the video for the scene in the hospital w Matt and Malachi   
> https://youtu.be/RJrTvkTXEl4

They rushed to the hospital hoping everything was gonna be ok when they got there went in seeing Matt just lying there Barb went to Matt holding his hand.

"Matt honey we need you to pull through." Nick sat next to him telling how much he loved him Malachi wanted to him to make it but couldn't say anything he was still too mad at him. The doctor told Barabra it was touch and go he almost didn't make it but was gonna make it. The next day they all returned Matt was awake sitting up Malachi went to up punching him in the face.

"What the hell Malachi?"

"How dare you use me to help you kill yourself? What is wrong with you? Look stay away from your dead to me."

"Malachi I'm sorry. You don't understand. Don't be like this."

"Save it I'm tired of your lies. I know it all. When the old Matt is back come and find till them I'm done. Sorry, mom, I had to do it." Malachi left the room just the doctor came into the talk with Matt.

"Mr. Massie, why did you try to kill yourself?"

"I was really tired I just misread the dose."

"Mr. Massie you took 60 sleeping pills I don't believe you. We're gonna keep you for a couple days you need to take to someone."

"It was an accident I'm fine."

"Matt honey please tell me the truth." Matt waited for the doctor to leave the room before he felt comfortable telling his mom what happened.

"I'm tired of all the hate I can't take anymore. Everyone wants me dead."

"That's not the truth."

"Open your eyes mom do you think I cut because it's fun?" Matt phone was going off like crazy she picked it up she was shocked by everything she saw Nick walked to her he saw it too.

"It'll be ok Mom I'll take care of it."

"Mom get me out of this I wanna go home."

"You can't you gonna get the help you need." When they left Matt picked up his phone to call Adam hopefully he could pick up his phone.

"Adam I need your help."

"What's wrong?"

"Come to the hospital and tell them you're my brother so I can leave."

"I heard what happened I don't know if I should."

"Please, Adam I don't have anyone to help me." Adam showed up pretending to be his brother telling them lies they let Matt go in the car the started to talk.

"Adam where were you when I called last week?"

"I was really sick I wanted to call you but couldn't talk. Sorry, Matt if I wasn't sick I would have helped you."

"I understand."

"I'm here for her now. That makes up for it."

"It does." The next day Barbara showed to see Matt but was shocked to see an empty room where's Matt? She thought to herself she went to find the doctor.

"Excuse me I'm looking for my son Matthew Massie."

"Your son came by yesterday and checked him out." Barbara texted Nick and Malachi they both told her they hadn't heard from him.

"Can you tell me which of my sons it was?"

"Adam."

"That's not one of my sons." She texted Matt to find out what happened but got it right back saying undeliverable she knew what that meant. 2 days later Nick ran to Adam Cole he knew what he was here that he helped Matt.

Where were you when Matt really needed you?"

"Really sick."

"Bull I saw the match. You claim to be his friend but when he needs you your not there to help him."

"I was there when need to me 2 days ago."

"You weren't helping him and you know it. Just tell Matt you're not his true friend. Maybe he believes you but I don't."

"If you tell him he'll get mad at you. My relationship when your brother is none of your businesses."

"It is when you're using him." Adam didn't response he just walked away Nick knew he was right about telling Matt the truth about Adam. Matt went back to wrestling didn't even give his body time to heal before his match he went to the gym training hard. When he got to the arena he started to feel weak the room was spinning Nick was only one that was there. Matt tried to shake it off the way he was feeling but it just got worse he knew he need help so Matt went up to Nick.

"Nick I need your help I can't breathe. Nick saw how pale Matt was and could hear him struggle to breathe so he helped Matt into the car.

"Matt if you can tell me how did this happen?"

"I think I over did the workout."

"Workout come on Matt you just got out of the hospital. You pushed your body to the limit. Nick wanted to yell at but kept his cool to Matt. When they got to the hospital he helped Matt into the wheelchair they took him right way he followed them. While working on him Matt had a seizure Nick couldn't see him like that soon he passed out the doctor went to Nick.

"Mr. Massie do you know what wrong with your brother?"

"A couple days go he was in the hospital he had a bad reaction to some sleeping pills. He thought he was ok so he left and thought he could start working out again but overdid it." An hour later Nick returned Matt was awake he had to have a breathing mask on Nick gave him a big hug.

"Thank you, Nick, for being there for me. I know I messed up don't tell anyone."

"Anytime. I didn't tell them about your attempt. Just promise me you'll take it easy." Matt had to stay there for at least 2 days Nick took time off to stay with Matt until he was ok to be alone. It felt like old times how long will this last Nick thought to himself. 

 

2 weeks later

Matt was feeling much better he went back to wrestling Nick was shocked none of the federations knew what Matt did. Before his big a match he cut by this time he was done caring who saw him do it. After the match, Matt ran into his friend who seemed more worried about Matt.

"Matt I heard what happened. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. You can see me can't you?"

"You tried to kill yourself and you act like it's no big deal."

"Come one you all knew it was coming and you act so shocked."

"Matt you're my best friend how do you think I felt when I saw the live feed of it on twitter? I don't want you to die."

"Sorry about that Kenny. I can't do this anymore and you would understand."

"If you let us help you we can make everything better."

"Things are better now like I said I'm fine now."

"Till when. You can't do this not caring of what it does to the one that love and care about you."

"I'm sorry I didn't think of anyone when I did it just wanted the pin to go away. It not like any of you would understand. If things get really bad I'll let you guys help me but or now drop it." Matt ran to his locker room slamming the door he sat on the floor dragging the razor cross his arm more than once he didn't hear Kenny open the door now they could see him cut they didn't know what to think it made them sad. Matt watched all the blood he loved the rush he was getting sting there like was there attars he cleaned up his arm putting back on his fishnet thing he saw the guys.

"What are you doing?"

"We saw you, Matt, you seriously need help."

"It's not big deal. It just looks bad."

"Looks it is bad you're hurting yourself and you truly see nothing wrong with it."

"I guess you gonna tell everyone now I don't care."

"You hear yourself Matt you sound crazy."

"Then I'm crazy then. People seen pics of my arms I posed to see why I don't what would you say Matt Jackson cuts and it's been going or years." The guys did know what to say back to Matt they were a little scared of him because of the way he was talking. They walked way letting him calm down. A couple days later before a match, he cut his arm twice he could feel that rush watching all the blood then wrapped his arm in the towel to stop the bleeding. When it was time for the match he put everything away walking to the ring. During the match, his arm started to bleed but it wasn't a little bit when Matt walked around you see a puddle.

"What is wrong with Matt Jackson's arm and why isn't it bothering him?" Matt grabbed his arm running up the ramp backstage he saw one of wrestling big shots in charge of everything.

"Mr. Jackson, what was that out there?"

"I must have bumped or cut my arm when I coming out I hadn't noticed it I wouldn't come out like that." I'm scared I hope he believes me Matt thought to himself he tried not to look nervous then he saw Nick.

"Right before the match, I saw Matt bump into a piece of metal it must have cut his arm." Mr. Jackson, we want you to see the medic." That made Matt made more nervous as he looked at Nick.

"Look can I just watch over Matt and if things get worst I'll take him to the hospital."

"Ok, Nick." When Matt and were alone they got to talking Nick looked at him like he was pissed.

"Come on Matt how can you be so stupid? I hate being dragged into your messes to make things better. I only did this because I didn't want to see get suspended or worst fired."

"I thought everything was fine or you know I wouldn't go out there. Thank you, Nick. I know I messed up."

"Don't thank me I should have to do this. One day everything is gonna come crashing down and I won't be there to save things." Matt ran off after everything he knew what he was going do Nick shook his head after everything you just go cut Nick thought to himself. They were even mender Matt wrote back so I cut so what do I look I care plus it feels so good. He did the laughing face after it. 

A couple weeks later Matt was in his locker room he had 20 minutes before a match he waned to cut but couldn’t find the razor. He felt a panic attack coming on so he picked put his “special” water he drank it he didn’t notice he drank the whole think. He ran out where Nick was he was pissed.

“Give it back.”

“Give what back?”

“My razor I know you have it. You went in there and took so couldn’t harm myself.”

“I didn’t touch your stuff. Of course blame me.” Matt pushed Nick he went to punch when he felt sick running to the bathroom. Everyone could her him wondering what was wrong it lasted or awhile almost the time for his match. Matt walked out of the bathroom looking kind out of it walking towards the ring he was stopped.

“You don’t look well. I don’t think you should wrestle.”

“I’m fine just something I ate its all out my system.” Matt turned to Nick like he was waiting him to come to his id but Nick just stood there watching it all.

“Pleas let go out I promise I’m fine.” Matt felt like he was having a panic attack tying to hide it.

“Fine but it happens in the ring you’ll have to get a doctors note before you can wrestle.” After the match he went up to Nick he was even madder Nick tried to walk away but Matt grabbed his arm.

“Why didn’t you help me out there?”

“I’m done. What was I suppose to say out there? You did this all to yourself. Let me guess you drank or that bottle because you couldn’t cut. You didn’t think of what would happen. One day you’ll gonna blow your whole wrestling career over this.”

“Yeah I really fed big time. But you didn’t even care.”

“Not have this conversation with you. Your sick all you gonna do is blame more for everything n I’m gonna stand by and take it.” Nick walked away Matt went back to his locker room going into the bathroom to mix up some of that special mixture. Before leaving he found his razor under the table he did a quick cut feeling better. He saw Nick one last time getting his face.

“If you ever touch my stuff you’ll be sorry.”

“I don’t care. I wanted to take your stuff I would’ve done it long time ago. Leave me alone.”

“Screw you.”

“Fine you too. The two brother locked eyes the way Matt looked t Nick there was hate in his eyes.

“Yeah you really hate me.”

“Why because it would break you to know our own brother hates you? Nick didn’t answer him he just got in the cab driving away.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt now can't keep his self-harm away from the ones the can change things. what happens when Matt almost loses everything he makes a mistake and Nick is forced to help him. what happens when Nick is done with Matt n someone takes it the wrong w nd almost ruins things for Nick

Matt was in the bathroom he thought he was alone so he sat on the floor pressing the razor to his arm watching all the blood Matt heard a flush he panicked. He wrapped his arm trying to clean up all the blood he wanted to get out there before anyone saw him but Jay saw him.

"Matt, what's wrong with your arm?"

"Bumped it so I put a cold towel on it." Matt could feel the blood dripping down his arm this was bad how was he gonna explain this.

"Why is your arm bleeding?"

"Must have cut it when I bumped it. Look I'm fine no one needs to know."

"You sure? It looks like a lot of blood"

"Trust me I'm fine." Matt ran back to his locker room he took the towel and took a strip of towel and wrapped it to his cut putting back on his fishnet thing he heard a knock and the door.

"Who is it?"

"Management. I heard you hurt yourself quite badly."

"I don't know what you heard but I'm fine."

"Mr. Jackson come out we need to talk." Matt came out he was nervous feeling like he was gonna have a panic attack.

"Mr. Jackson show me your arm."

"It's fine."

"This is serious we could suspend you for 30 days." Matt took off his hoodie he felt his symptoms getting worst.

"I must have cut my arm when it happened just ask Nick." He went to Nick who seems like he wanted nothing to do with it.

"Nick, did Matt fall?"

"I want no part of this. Whatever is going on here I don't care." He walked back to Matt with I don't believe you look n his face.

"I don't think you bumped your arm. What really happened?"

"Ok, I was drinking from a glass I tripped it broke while in my hand and cut my arm."

"Look, Mr. Jackson, I don't know what happened but listen if anything like this happens again you'll be in big trouble or don't come in."

"I'm sorry I won't happen. I knew it was a horrible mistake." Matt went back in his locker room he put on loud music then took a drink of special water bottle so no one could hear him get sick he heard a knock at his door but he ignored it.

"Matt like no one knows what you're doing. Nice once again don't put me in the middle of this. Wonder what he'll do I tell him what you're doing."

"Shut the f up Nick go away. You don't care how nice.'"

 

"I don't care because once again you do this to yourself. I'm not gonna stick up for you because you don't care or learn. Nick heard something hit the door hard like if the door was open Nick would've been hit with it.

 

A/N my friend Miranda help me with this part

Matt was alone in his locker room with the door open he put the razor to his arm he blacked out like he was a having an out of body experience he felt a lot more blood than normal. He saw management standing over him he tried to get up he saw Nick.

"This is it I told him he'd be big trouble if I caught him again. He's suspended for 30 days."

"Don't take it too far I can fix this."

"Ok, but he'd need a doctor's note." Nick noticed all the blood he tied up the cuts carrying him to the car they drove to the hospital. How the f am I gonna explain this? Really Matt Nick thought to himself when they got there they took him right away. Nick picked up his phone he texted his mom

You gotta come to the hospital Matt messed up again don't worry he didn't do another attempt

When Matt woke up his family was there minus Malachi standing by his bedside what the f did I do to myself Matt thought to himself.

"How can be that stupid?"

"Nick don't."

"Mom you don't understand. If it wasn't for me you'd be in big trouble"

"Thank you."

"Don't go there. Mom I need to talk to him alone."

"Ok honey." They kissed Matt before leaving Matt seemed little nervous.

"I'm only helping out this last time I'm done. I'm gonna do it under one condition."

"What?"

"You do everything I say and agree with me no matter what. I mean it I'm done after this you understand."

"Yes." The doctor came out in he looked, Matt, like he did something wrong then looked Nick like maybe he tell them something.

"Are you family and do what happened?"

"His brother. Look he's not suicidal he just got a little depressed he did it to himself. If you let him go he won't do this again."

"Is that true Mr. Massie?"

"Yes. I know I messed up but it won't happen again."

"We recommend a 72 hold to make sure he's not a danger to himself."

"He'll do it. Can I talk to him one last time?"

"Sure."

"I know you hate this but I'll tell everyone you have the flu. Next time you f up I won't be there and you'll lose it all."

"Thanks." 3 days later he left the hospital the doctor said it was an accident then Nick said after that he got sick luckily management believe him. Matt still had to wait for his arm to heal. No one knew that the note wasn't from a doctor Nick wrote the whole thing. Nick got a call from his mom he picked it up what did she want.

"Hi, mom."

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

"I know Matt does things we don't like but that's no excuse for you to be mean to him."

"You don't understand it. Don't get me wrong I love him. It's hard to care about him when he does the same things over and over again then wanting me to help. I can't do it anymore"

"But he's your brother."

"Yeah but he doesn't act like that. He wants my help but would love it if I got of his life."

"Don't say that."

"I hear it all the time. Matt is always reminding how much he hates me and other things I won't say."

"I can't believe he would say those things."

"I can't talk about this. I'm trying I really am."

2 months later

Matt was all healed up cleared to wrestle him and Nick barely talked that didn't bother him. A couple weeks later Matt was up to old tricks instead of cutting he decided to bang his arm. Matt went to the locker room door he hit his arm hard against the door he loved the sound it made. He did that till he saw bruises and swelling he loved the rush and high he got he also couldn't feel his arm. He walked out his locker room everyone noticed his arm once again he had to explain himself.

"What happened to your arm?"

"I fell on it when I was sleeping." He looked over at Nick who shot him a dirty look like don't once again they walked over to Nick."

"What happened Nick?"

"I don't know. Look whatever happened I really don't care." He walked away he looked back at Matt shaking his head before going back locker room he ran into a fellow wrestler.

"I use to think you were a nice person but it turns out Nick Jackson is an asshole. Only an asshole would walk away from his brother when he needed him."

"You don't know the whole story."

"Save it." Later Nick went on twitter he noticed that wrestler wrote how he was an asshole or what he did the people who were hating on Matt said he did the right thing and meaner things so Nick wrote

You should know the whole story before making accusations. I love my brother and that's all the matters. I don't care what you say because I'll never truly walk away from my brother.

Nick's phone started to blow up it was his mom wanting to know what was going so he texted her.

Look mom once again Matt got in trouble getting involved even after I told him I was done. I walked away saying I don't care. Another wrestler blew out proportion. Look I don't wanna talk about it.

He also shot Matt a message not caring I was mean to him

Thanks to you in one night you got the whole world to hate on me and for what because you could hold off on self-harming yourself. I bet you think all of this is funny. You didn't realize how selfish you can truly be. Don't talk to me or turn to me or anything ever again. How does it feel to know none of your brothers want anything to do with you. I told you I was done but did you listen no because no one else matters.

Nick felt a little bad for saying all those mean things to him but knew it had to be said and felt a little better for it. Nick knew soon he mom would call because of all of it.

For the time some of what Nick said broke Matt's heart which caused him to have a panic attack. He wanted to write him back he wouldn't, believe me, he thought himself. He drank some of the special water he got sick he sat on the bathroom floor trying to figure everything out. The next day Kenny went to the wrestler to explain some of what was going on.

"We need to talk."

"Is this about Nick?"

"Yes please just listen."

"You got 5."

"Matt does things to himself he gets in trouble he's always having Nick bail him out. Nick got tired of helping him when he does the same things over again" That night the wrestler wrote on twitter I said things about Nick Jackson that weren't right I should have heard the whole story first. Sorry, Nick.

Matt went on twitter to make things right by saying people should stop hating on Nick but it all backfired on him he got more hate. He decided to send Nick a message to tell him everything.

I tried to make thing better for you but no everyone hates more or everything.

When Nick read that it broke his heart he felt bad but he knew couldn't make things right. Why can't they just leave him alone Nick thought himself? He wrote sorry I didn't know it went this far if I could I'd take it all and it deal with it for you.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after misunderstanding Nick tries to make right w Matt but can he. after a big fight Nick cuts Matt out his life he do anything to get Nick back in his life even if means doing dangerous things. what happens he does something make Nick pay attention to him but it seriously backfires

A couple months later Matt was in his locker room reading all the posts trying to real hard to not but it was hard when they came every second. He drank from his special water bottle but this time it was different he threw up some blood he was sacred. Instead feeling good he felt dizzy and lightheaded he wanted to tell Nick but didn't as long as don't pass out I'll be fine Matt thought to himself. The moment Matt got up he felt the room spin this time he felt truly sick he deice to sleep it off ten minutes later he heard knock the door he got up feeling so out of it he went the door.   
"Who's there?"   
"Kenny is everyone ok?"  
"Yeah I was just sleeping." The room was spinning a little but he pushed though it so he would wrestle and won soon after he felt so weak like he wanted to pass out ay any moment he managed out of there before they could see him. At the hotel room he texted Nick he didn't care something was truly wrong.  
I really don't feel well. I know you said not to come to you but I need your help. I think I something wrong Nick wrote back  
I'll help you. Do you know what is wrong?  
After I did that thing with the water bottle I got really sick. Luckily I got out there without anyone knowing I was sick.   
By the time Nick got there Matt was feeling little better Nick looked worried when he saw how pale Matt was.   
"I'm here. Tell everything your feeling?"  
"I'm feeling better sorry I bothered you." Nick looked at Matt he was angry he shook his head at him.  
"I can't believe you out of everything you've done to me this is the worse. Playing like you were sick just to mess with me some joke. I like said your selfish and didn't think how this would make me feel."  
"But Nick you don't understand."   
"Oh I understand it ll. No you know why I don't wanna be bothered with you. I'm so done with you all tog there. Remember you did this all to yourself."   
"Nick can I explain?"  
"I don't wanna hear it just stop it. Why can't you say I'm sorry instead acting like you did nothing wrong. Nick opened the door Matt wanted stop him but by this knew nothing he could say would things better. Later Matt went out with Adam and Kenny half way though it he felt it all come back to him he went the bathroom he tried to feel better but the room was spinning really fast he felt lightheaded then passed out. 10 minutes later Adam wet the bathroom he saw Matt lying there he tried to wake him out but couldn't so he ran to the Kenny.  
"Kenny call 911 Matt is passed out and couldn't wake him." Kenny called 911 5 minutes later they came taking Matt to the hospital n the way there he called Nick but kept getting his voicemail. Soon after arriving Matt woke up all confused.  
"Kenny why am I here?"  
"You passed out in the bathroom we couldn't wake you."   
"Don't worry I'm fine just freak accident."   
"Are you crazy Matt? You're not going anywhere something is truly wrong with you. You can't play us." Matt knew he was no choice and had to stay there. I wonder what Nick gonna think after all this Matt thought to himself.  
Hours later Nick heard his phone go off it was Kenny then he notice this wasn't the first call he knew it was bad.  
"Nick you need to the hospital its Matt."

"No surprise there. What did he do? Nick didn't seem too worried like he didn't any part of it he seem bothered by all of this.  
"I don't know what happened. He went to the bathroom when we were hanging out he didn't come out. Later Adam went to the bathroom and found passed out in there we couldn't wake him.  
"I'm coming." Is this what he was talking bout when he texted me. How do say sorry or not believing him and thinking this is all a joke he thought to himself. Hen he got there Matt s wake he didn't seem to happy to see him there.  
"I'm sorry for not believing you. After everything you did can you understand why?"  
"If I passed out in front of you or threw up on myself would you I was king it or it was a joke?"  
"Don't be like that."   
"Like what? I asked my own brother or help and he thought it was a mean joke. If I wanted to play mean joke on you I wouldn't have played sick. Do me a favor and levee me alone. When I needed help I found out ho is truly there or me"  
"I feel bad or what I said. I'm really sorry you know that."  
"Say what ever you what please just levee."  
"Before I go at lest tell me what is wrong."   
"Why so you can pretend to care." Nick walked out the room he felt his heart break he tried so hard not to cry that didn't work know I messed but he didn't have so mean to me he thought to himself. Kenny and Adam saw him crying they went to give a hug he pushed them away he went to walk away Kenny followed.  
"What happened?"  
I told him I was sorry for the way I treated but Matt thinks I did this on prose I'm sick and tired of do him being so men to me."   
"Don't cry Nick. Don't think Matt really meant it. I think he's just mad and when he cools off he say sorry."   
"Thetas sweet Kenny but I don't think so. When he finds out he made me cry he be happy." Later that night Kenny went into talk to Matt about the wee he treated Nick.   
"Matt did you really try to be that mean to Nick?"

"I wasn't I was mad at him. I can't help it I he can't handle it."  
"So you don't care you made him cry?"  
"Really how much?" Kenny saw a big smile on Matt's face what he said didn't bother him  
"It shouldn't matter because you should be feeling bad you hurt your brother's feelings."   
"Well I'm not I you're tin or me to it'll be a long time."   
"We'll talk later." Kenny pulled his phone to text Nick wow. I can't believe Matt he thought to himself.  
You were right Nick when I told him bout you crying it made him happy. Sorry you have to deal with that.  
Don't be. It's SD but I'm not letting get to me down sadly it would make happy if it did. I love him but I'm done caring because it get me nowhere expect or my feeling getting hurt. Look I don't wanna talk bout it  
Bye Nick  
Later that night when they were asleep Matt called Adam to get to out the hospital once again he was there. Even though he still felt sick Matt was gonna leave the hospital and of course Adam didn’t question him even though he couldn’t barley stand and help getting to the car. Back at the hotel room he tried to go sleep but couldn’t Adam left shortly after . Matt felt worst he knew after everything this was a long shot he called Nick he answered.  
“Leave me alone.”  
“I need your help.”  
“Let me guess Adam got you out well I don’t care. Go bother someone else.”  
“Don’t be like that I'm your brother you have to care.”   
“No I don’t. You treat me like garbage then you want me to help you well your crazy. I don’t want you to be sick but I’m gonna help you. I said I done with you I meant so goodbye.” Nick hung up he texted Kenny his phone was blowing up as he was.  
Matt left the hospital he says he's really sick. If you care do something but don’t involve me. Sorry Kenny I’m truly done I know its hard for you to understand. He texted Matt.  
Leave me the f alone I meant it. I don’t want anything to with you and nothing you say will make change my mind.  
Matt was able to walk to Nick’s room he banged on the door till he answered the brothers started to fight with the last bit of strength he punched Nick hard the face then collapsed on the floor. Nick grabbed his nose there was lots of blood.  
“Real nice you used all your strength to punch me. I bet you can’t even stand up.”   
‘No but it was all wroth it.” he was laughing pointing at Nick matt tried to get up but couldn’t the room spinning around him.  
“What you gonna pass out oh too bad and you want me to pick you up. I’m going to the hospital and leaving you alone.” Right after that Kenny showed up he wondered what was going on he knew it was bad.  
“What happened?”  
“I think Matt broke my nose and he can’t get up because he used all his strength to do this. I’m gonna leave him there.” Nick grabbed his keys, his hotel room key and his phone Kenny didn’t try to stop him. Kenny helped Matt up they left going to the car Kenny helped him into the car he drove him to the hospital Matt seemed to really out it.  
“I can’t believe you. I’m gonna make sure that this time you're not leaving the hospital. What would have happened if I didn’t show up? You did it this time for Nick to be like this.” two days later Matt left the hospital Nick had to recover from his broken nose. Nick decided to go home while he healed and he could be away from Matt. He first stopped into his mom she knew something was up when she Nick’s face.  
“What happened to your nose?”  
“I broke it.”  
“How did it happen?”  
“Matt punched me in the face.”  
“During a match?”  
“No we got into a fight.”   
“What happened?”  
“Long story. He wasn’t feeling good he acted for help but I didn’t believe him and he was sick. I tried to say I was sorry he said mean things and made me cry. After he left the hospital he asked me for help I told him I was done. I wasn't gonna help after everything and to leave me alone.  
“Nick I can’t believe you would do that to him.”   
“After he made me cry he laughed at me like it was all funny. I know I sound mean but I can’t keep helping him.”   
“I understand but I can’t believe he would laugh at you making you cry.”   
“He done that many times to before. Malachi did the right thing when he cut him out his life. Its hard caring for him when he treats me like I don’t matter. Sorry you did to hear this. After he broke my nose he laughed at me then wanted me to help him. I gave him a taste of his on medicine.”  
“Wow that messed up sorry honey.” She went up to Nick giving to a hug that lasted for a while. The next day he phone was blowing up Matt needed help again Nick just wrote back really well f off. I’m home. Matt wrote back this is serious don’t be like that. Nick wrote back Don't care and won’t care. You realize you did this all to yourself. Do me a favor and leave me alone. He put a block on Matt he sent Kenny message saying please leave me out of it. Your my best friend i know you understand. Kenny wrote back. I won’t I'm not even paying him any mind. I think he got caught cutting or something like that. Nick wrote back Let him suffer the consequences maybe then he’ll learn.   
A month later Nick was cleared to wrestle the two met up but Nick walked away Kenny knew it was still bad. Matt tried to text Nick please talk me I know i messed up some but come on Nick it came back undeliverable he called him but the error message. He felt a panic attack so he cut and on went twitter he wrote I bet I killed myself tonight Nick wouldn’t care he’d be happy I was gone. Everyone told him he was right but when Kenny saw it he wrote but that's not true. Kenny retweeted it and tagged Nick in it so Nick could see it. When Matt was alone in hotel room he turned on his video camera with a razor and his arm visible.   
“All I want is Nick to talk to me I guess now he’ll have no choice. See what you made me do Nick.” he slit his wrist laughing a little right as Kenny came in Matt was bleeding quite bad so he wrapped his arm and took him the hospital. An hour later Nick hot a message notification from twitter he opened it and saw the video he was in shock why the f do you drag me into stuff like this Nick thought to himself then his phone went off it was his mom.  
“Nick your brother is in the hospital he tried to kill himself. You need to get here.”   
“Sorry mom got a bad stomach bug I don’t think I can make it.”   
“Feel better.” Wow you really though you get me to the show up and everything would be better get real Nick thought to himself. A day later his mom showed up at his hotel room when she saw him she knew he wasn't sick.   
“You don’t look sick. What is going on and why won’t go see your brother?”  
“He did this on purpose. Open your eyes mom he did this all for attention my attention.” She slapped Nick across his face he looked up her with a sad look on his face.  
“Mom do me favor ask him what is really going on.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> their mom learns how far Matt will go will that change how she sees her son? when a match goes too far what will happen? when Matt tries to makes things better can he or will Nick not let him

Barbara drove back to the hospital she was gonna get answers even though she didn't want to believe it. She went into Matt's room she pulled the chair next to him sitting down.

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

"Did you really try to kill yourself?"

"Why are you asking this?"

"I need to know. Did you do this all for attention from your brother?'

"Umm maybe."

"Don't lie to me."

"I did it for Nick's attention sorry mom but you don't understand." She gave the disappointed look to Matt before walking out there she couldn't even say a word. She pulled out her phone to text Nick.

Sorry, I didn't believe you and that I slapped you. I don't know to do or think anymore. I can't do this with him anymore he crossed a line you don't cross.

It's ok mom.Now you what we're going through. I don't know what to tell you. We'll talk later. I love you mom

I love you too Nick

Matt tried to call his mom but she didn't answer so he left a message please don't shut me out. I love you I didn't mean to hurt you. When he called back later he got the same message when he called Nick, wow now she blocked me Matt thought to himself.

As Nick was sleeping he had a dream about his worst nightmare. The dream:

Adam Cole and Matt were hanging out in Matt's hotel room when Matt started to have a panic attack so he started to cut his arm not paying attention when Adam saw all the blood he got worried.

"Matt I think we need to the hospital you're bleeding badly."

"I'm fine you trust me right?"

"Ok, I'll get it to go." Later that night Matt didn't look any better but he didn't question it. Matt got up the room was spinning feeling like he was gonna pass out. Around 1 am Adam got up to go to the bathroom and found Matt unresponsive on the floor so he called 911 hen they came they told him lost to much blood and was gone. The next day Adam had to tell Nick when he told him Nick punched him the face losing it.

Nick woke up by screaming no very loud he was sweating he picked up his phone to text Kenny.

Kenny, I need you to do me a favor

Sure with what

Can you check on Matt and see if he's ok because I had a dream he died

Of course

Kenny went to Matt's room he opened it the way Kenny was looking at it freaked him out.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Sorry just sure you're ok."

"Let me guess Nick."

"He had a dream you died and wanted to make sure you were ok?' Matt was laughing, smiling like what Kenny was saying was entertaining him.

"How pathetic this is too funny." Kenny walked out of his room without saying a word he went over to Nick's

"He's fine I told him about it and once again he just laughed."

"Kenny I know you cruse tell him this." Nick wrote own what he wanted to say and handed it to Kenny so he went to Matt's room

"Fuck you asshole you selfish piece of shit. That was from Nick." Matt just laughed at the idea of Nick cursing at him.

2 weeks later Matt showed up at a wrestling event he was cleared. The moment him and Nick saw each other it was a fight he started beating up Nick. Matt backed Nick against the wall by the throat holding him tight everyone was watching. Nick dragged his nails into Matt’s face but of course it didn’t phase him so he kicked him hard in the nuts Matt fell to the ground when he was down Nick kicked him hard in the stomach. The management knew they had to book this match so they went up to them.

“I saw what you did so in 2 weeks at the next ppv you’ll fight each other in a death match no rules.”

“Love that idea. You’ll be sorry Nick.”

“I’m in.” Nick didn’t respond to Matt he just walked away still holding his neck it really hurt back in the locker room Matt looked in the mirror he saw big scratches on his face he smiled he was still bleeding. When Nick looked in the mirror he had finger bruises on his neck it hurt a little when tried to drink or swallow was he trying to kill me? Nick thought to himself.

It was time for the big match the two met in the ring Matt give Nick a scary look it kind scare him. The match got hardcore really fast they were both bleeping Matt did most of it till Nick superkicked him into the pile of glass. He lay there or awhile the glass had blood on it. He picked Matt up by his hair swinging him hard into the ramp. 10 minutes later Matt got stumbling around he got in the ring he backed Nick into the corner grabbing him by the neck with both hands. Everyone was in shock he was actually strangling him Nick started to slip in and out of it he saw a piece of glass he picked it up shoving into Matt’s eye he let go. Nick tried to feel better coughing he was still out it out Matt felt the blood run down his face from his eye he couldn’t see straight. He grabbed the glass he cut both of Nick’s arms from his wrist to his elbow deep soon there too much blood Nick passed out so Matt got the pin he spit in his face.

“Told you you’ll be sorry.” They rushed both of them to hospital luckily to Matt the glass wasn’t in to deep he had it bandage and as told he had to wear an eye patch for awhile. Nick got 55 stitches in both arms Nick couldn’t get the imagine of Matt straggling him out his min. When they met up again all hell broke lose Matt walked up to Nick he was pissed.

“What the hell is your problem?” Matt pointed to his eye Nick couldn’t believe him.

“You tried to fing strangle me to death. I’m sorry in hurt you but in no choice. You don’t even care about me.” Matt walked away that didn’t surprise Nick why did I think he would care Nick thought to himself. But it still hurt him. Back in his hotel room, Matt felt bad seeing the look on Nick’s ace he didn't know ht to say to him I didn’t mean to take that far. It got of hand out. He actually thinks I did it on purpose Matt thought to himself. He decided to text to Kenny.

Kenny tell me the truth does Nick thinks I tried to strangle him on purpose?

Yes, he does even in think that. Why you care?

I never meant to do on propose you gotta believe me

I’m not the one you have to convince here

I know but Nick won't take my calls or texts

Look in you really me it I’ll get him to call you. Don’t be bull shitting me

I’m not I swear

An hour later Matt’s phone went it was Nick he took the block off Matt picked up he was nervous.

“Nick you gotta believe me I never meant to take that far. I love you I wouldn’t do anything like that to you.

“I love you too. It scared me to know you would do that but I believe you. Just promise me you won’t do that again.

“Promise. Can we have time to hang out?”

“Sure.” Nick came over a minute later the two hugged Nick the look in on Matt face like looking at Nick hurt him they held each other for awhile. Is the old Matt really back? Nick thought to himself. They watched a movie after the attack Nick wasn’t able to keep down so they hung out in the hotel room.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Matt finds out someone close to agreeing w his bullies making the bullying worse. What will he do when finds who it was. After Matt cuts Malachi out of his life will he do anything to get him back

Flashback to 2 days after the video came out

Malachi went on twitter he noticed everyone was talking about his brother Matt with a video attached he watched it pissed him off. He started to vent saying mean things about to Matt what happened to Matt wasn't right. Some of what he said s uncalled for soon the bullies noticed what he said commented on his status. He wrote back just because I'm his brother I'll take his side well I'm not.  Its good thing we know how he truly feels. Malachi kept talking to them saying how he felt till he had to sign off. Later that night Matt got a message I think it's really funny ho even his own brother hates him for what he did. Matt couldn't believe it why would Nick do that? Matt thought to himself. He called Nick getting his voicemail so he left a message:

I can't believe you, Nick, acting as you care only to bad mouth me behind my back on twitter. Why would you do that?

The next day he went to his room knocking the door he wanted answers he wondered why Matt looked upset.

"What the hell Nick. How could you to me?"

"Do what? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yesterday you went on twitter and started bad mouthing me."

"I wasn't on there last night. I was too sick to do anything. The only thing I wrote was feeling like crap I think I caught a bad virus. Ask Kenny he was there when I got sick. Trust me Matt it wasn't me last night I could barely stand. I'll get Kenny to check it out." Kenny went on twitter he found the tweets he screencaped them then was Nick better he went looking for who this was the person name was Mark J when he saw brother he knew would it was. Right after he went on his hone and dialed Malachi. 

"Hi, Nick you're feeling better?"

"Getting there. We need to talk."

"About what?"

"It would be better if you came here it's something I can't say over the phone."

"Ok I'll be there soon." that night Malachi showed up at Nick's hotel room he was scared about what he would tell him.

"I'm here what it is?" Nick threw the paper on the bed he could tell Nick was pissed.

"I can't believe you could do that."

"Do what?"

"You went on twitter and bad mouthed Matt."

"I was reacting to the video. Why is that bad?"

"Are you for real? Matt is getting bullied online really bad even wishing death on him. You had the nerve to agree with them. I've seen everything you said."

"All I did was voice my opinion."

"Are you serious? You basically were bullying your own brother and gave them more reasons to hate on him."

"I can't help it if people took what I said turned it around. You know I didn't mean anything of it."

"No, I didn't it made sick him to stomach when I said read it all. How would you feel if someone told you that? I'm surprised you didn't say kill yourself because the only line you didn't cross. Think about it and read all the stuff said to Matt and see if you feel good about yourself. Malachi, I can't look at you right now so get out my sight. I never thought my own brother would be that mean. Nick got on his phone to text Matt about everything.

I found out who did it

Who

Malachi said all those mean things about you. Before you call him or take out on him give time

Why are you taking his side?

He's got a day. I don't think he truly understood everything he said

He's got a day. Sorry I blamed you

Don't be I understand why. I'm so sorry Malachi did that to you

Malachi went on twitter he read everything mean comment said to Matt it made him cry he couldn't believe all the things they were saying. He continued reading it made him sick that he was part of it

Last night I said some stuff about my brother that was really mean I was pissed. That was no excuse for what I did. I love my brother and could never hate him. I also agreed with stuff shouldn't have hope he can forgive. I don't know he'll forgive me. He tagged Matt and Nick in.

Even though Malachi apologized Matt still got a message and comments about it like I think he's saying that because Nick caught him. I believe he truly means the things about Matt. if he didn't mean he wouldn't have said such mean things.

Matt tried to put that out his head he trusted his brother would he really be that cruel especially to me Matt thought to himself. He wanted to know everything Malachi said to him. One day he got the message with two links in it he clicked on them. One was a website called wehatemattjackson with a twitter account with the same name. The site had cruel pics and a section where you could blog about him and fanfics. Under the members he saw MMJ1490 why did that sound so familiar the guy called himself Mark. Matt decided to he had to know everything Malachi said to him he knows I wouldn't hurt so he went to Nick.

"Nick I need to see everything that Malachi wrote about me."

"Matt I don't think that a good idea. The comments are really mean and hurtful."

"I need to know what he said."

"I scared what you'll do if you read them. I'll show them to you under two conditions."

"Ok, what?"

"You can't harm yourself or take it out on Malachi."

"Promise." Nick handed the papers to him he started to read them Nick could see the hurt in Matt's eyes 5 minutes later he finished he just stood there Nick got worried.

"Matt are you ok?"

"Yeah. look I need to go something came up." Nick heard the crack in his voice like he was trying really hard to cry. The moment he left he felt to heartbreaking down crying Nick could hear everything. He wanted to go out there and make thing better. Wow after everything I don't know what to think anymore. I thought Malachi would always have my back then he does all that to me. Why would he do that Matt thought to himself? Is there anything he could say that would fix things Matt thought to himself. Adam saw Matt sitting on the floor by this hotel room he knew something was wrong.

"Matt are you ok?"

"Don't want to talk about it."

"You look like you were crying."

"Maybe. Look if you want to know ask Nick. I appreciate you caring about me but right I want to be alone. Don't worry I'll be fine."

"Ok. if you need anything you got my number." soon after Matt's phone went off it was Malachi he decided to pick up.

"You got a lot of nerve calling me."

"So you know."

"Of course I know. I'm your brother you suppose to have my back. I hope you're proud of yourself. What you gonna say oh I'm sorry I never meant to."

"Let me explain."

"Don't bother I don't want to hear it. I'm only forgiving you because you're my brother. Right now I don't wanna hear from you. Give me time I don't want to say anything that would ruin our relationship." Matt hung up the phone he was pissed how can talk to me so casually like everything is fine. If I hadn't brought it up would he have or think I forgot Matt thought to himself. Soon after he got more mean comments MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY he scared in his head while covering his ears soon Nick came out to check on him.

"Leave me the f alone."

"It's Nick. what's wrong?"

"The messages. I'm fine."

"You're not but I'm here for you." Nick wrapped Matt in his arms Matt started to cry Nick just held him while rubbing his back.

"No matter what happens I'll always be there for you. Don't cry I'll get better. I love you, Matt."

"Thank you. I love you too Nick." Nick just held Matt for awhile soon Matt stopped crying he wiped away his tears.

2 weeks later Matt and Nick had time going home they were gonna see their parents Matt didn't know Malachi was there. The moment they met Matt shot him a dirty evil look.

"Hi, Matt?"

"Don't hi Matt me. Don't try to talk to me like everything is fine."

"When you gonna get over it."

"Get over it I can't I'm reminded of that everyday of what you did. I don't think you really know the damage you cause. You think you can say I'm sorry and it'll go away."

"I don't lie I think that but know it's not that easy. I don't think it's worth not talking to me." Matt got up punching Malachi hard in the face the two started to fight it got bad so Nick got in the middle pulling the two apart.

"Look you can't take it this far. Malachi, seriously you need to back off of Matt. I know things will go back to normal but it will take time"

"Nick please back off."

"Matt I know beating up Malachi won't fix anything. You can't things out on him."  "Nick I know your right." Soon Barabra came out she saw Malachi was bruised and bleeding she wondered what was going on.

 

"What happened?"

"Matt and Malachi were plying fighting they took it a little too far."

"No more play fighting. Are you sure everything is ok?"

"Things are fine."

"Just heard you two screaming at each other."

"All part of the play fighting. We'd tell you if something was up." Malachi was shocked Matt didn't tell her everything I wonder why Matt didn't tell on me Malachi thought to himself.

"Thank you for not telling her."

"I didn't want to worry her. I didn't do it for you. I don't care about your feeling right now."

"I understand."

"It would break her heart too know all that." Malachi soon left so Matt and Nick spent time with mom and dad.

2 days later Malachi went back twitter one of the bullies sent him a message "did you apologize because Nick caught you?" Malachi didn't write back but that didn't help. They wrote "Matt's brother wasn't truly sorry so was he remorseful? That is too funny."

Later that night Matt got a link in a message he clicked on it they were talking bout Matt and Malachi there were drawings. He read "how stupid can Matt Jackson be he can't see what is right in front of them. He actually believes his brother cares. Matt picked up his phone to call Malachi he was really pissed off.

"Hey, Matt."

"How could you?"

"Do what?"

"You lie to me in my face telling me how sorry you were or everything. You lied to me."

"Why would you think that?"

"It's all over the web saying you were only sorry because you got caught."

"Matt that's not true. One of the people asked me I was only sorry because Nick caught me. I didn't answer them back they'd twist it."

"Whatever Mal. I'm done have a nice life."

"Matt you be mad at me because someone twisted my words. I didn't answer back because nothing I could say could make things better I know you know that." Matt hung up the phone what I do now? Should I trust him Matt thought to himself? He herd this phone go off it was Malachi he texted him

Matt, please don't shut me out. You trust someone who hates you rather then your own brother. I don't hate you nor could I. you know I love you. I'm not gonna defend myself because they just twist my word again.

Matt didn't answer back he just let his phone go off he did feel a little bad he was hurting Malachi's feeling. He just got more messages about people getting their kicks off about Matt's brother hating on him. That made him wanna cry so he texted Nick he couldn't be alone.

The next day Malachi back but not the way Malachi thought he would talk to him.

I hate you so don't talk to me. Just stay away.

Don't say that. That's a little harsh. Please don't do this.

I don't care you started it all. Now you can't handle it. I'm not kidding bye Malachi.

Malachi tried to text him back got the error message so he called Nick to see if could talk to Matt. he couldn't understand how Matt could just shut him out so easy. Nick came back in Matt room he knew who he was talking to.

"Matt we need to talk."

"Let me guess Malachi wants you to talk to me. Nick please just stay out of it. Look maybe I was I was harsh to him. You don't understand I can't deal with you trying to defend him." Nick didn't know what to say to him Matt looked like he wanted to cry so he just hugged him. After a little while when it was safe Nick texted Malachi it was not what he wanted.

Malachi sorry I can't this is between you and Matt. I feel like if took your side I'd be hurting him. All he needs is time and I bet everything will go back to normal. Look I know he doesn't mean it but you have to understand why's he's mad at you

Ok fine Nick

Don't take it out on me just because I don't make Matt forgive you

 

Nick couldn't believe that Malachi was getting mad at him because he wasn't gonna force Matt to forgive him I'm not gonna upset Matt more just to make Malachi happy. If he didn't have me I don't know what he to Nick thought to himself.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the suicide attempt Matt gets some scary links. What happened when Matt realizes that after everything somebody really close to him may never have the same feelings for him that they used to. When Matt takes things a little bit too far even people in his corner start to worry about him

After the suicide attempt

Matt laid in his bed alone he heard his phone go off he was able to reach it there were tweets with the same type of links it clicked on the first one. He saw live Twitter and Instagram videos where people are talking about what happened with fucked up polls like who thinks Matt will die and who wants Matt to die.  They were laughing OMG this is so funny loved watching him get carried out on the stretcher. Matt started to have a  panic attack he just dug his nails into his skin. Matt clicked on the other link it was about Malachi he read the comments. Wow, he got it his brother to help him end it all no wonder he hates him hopefully soon Nick will do the same.  They called Malachi a good person for what he did and was a shame it didn't work.  He clicked off the links he had enough. He saw that Nick was asking for prayers for him most people wrote seriously who cares open your eyes he deserved it.  he saw his parents coming to his defense but that did nothing.  Nick had so many tags on Twitter to the live video he got mad. My brother could have died and all you guys can do is joke about it or saying he deserved it. Nothing he could have said or done means he should have died.  I watch my mom nearly lose it over what you said. Matt still wished it had gone through but he thought about his parents he was able to write in his journal that Nick got for him.  I hurt everybody today they don't understand it. Plus now Malachi won't talk to me I don't blame him what could I say. Everyone else thinks it was a sick joke laughing about it. The look on my mom's face when I told her everything. Then Matt wrote sleeping pills next time do it when you're alone. After being allowed to be in the bathroom alone with the door closed he was able to break a small piece of glass he did it real high they wouldn't check.  Matt put his arm in the shower he pressed the glass to his arm. He felt so much better then he turn on the shower damn. that feels so good Everything feels much better now thought to himself. 2 days later Adam showed up with a change of clothes. Matt got changed getting ready to leave the doctor to stop them.  
"Mr. Massie only family can sign you out."  
"This is my brother Adam. Look if you let me go I promise I will take good care of me.  
"You can go." After the two left the hospital Matt took out a razor blade he drew it across his arm he just stood there watching and smiling Adam watched Matt when Matt got on in the car Adam of noticed the blood.  
"Matt, are you bleeding? Did you cut?"  
"Yeah my mom is going to be pissed you sign me out but who cares."  
"Don't talk like that.  Did you really try to kill yourself?"  
"So what if I tried to the keyword is tried." Matt started to scare Adam so we stopped talking to Matt did I do the right thing here Adam thought to himself. When they got to Matt's house Adam helped him Matt saw his answering machine was full so he answered some.   
Matt, it's Mom I tried to call you but couldn't get through please call me and let you know you're okay. Matt it's Nick let me guess Adam bailed you out.  Mom's worried. He deleted them all he got all stop looking ready to leave.   
"Adam take me to the airport I have to go to Japan."  
"You just got out of the hospital you can't pick up with wrestling."  
"I just want to be close to Nick." Adam didn't believe him but took him there anyway. When they got to the airport Adam dropped him off Matt didn't seem to care about anything.   
"Look don't tell Nick or anyone any of this I'm not getting blamed. You know Nick will."  
"Nick is just too nosey. Thank you."  
"You're welcome." The next day Matt ran into Nick who wrapped his arms around him Matt pushed him away.   
"Don't touch me."  
"I'm just happy to see you."  
I'm fine. If you touch me again you'll be sorry." The way Matt looked at Nick he was pissed. 

"Geez, I can't hug my own brother after everything."  
"I hate you.  I told you I'm fine."  
"Don't be like that." Matt didn't answer back he just walked away going in his room he pulled out a razor and cut things felt better.

Malachi was hurt went that website he thought was forum he started to write. It hurts my own brother would use me to help to kill himself like my feelings didn't matter. I feel bad I told him he was dead to me but after everything, I couldn't look in the eye and see him. It hurts to know he would wanna go that far and not ask for help. How can you be that hurt? Soon after he posted it he got replies you shouldn't be hurt now you know his true colors and how much he cares about you. If I was you I would say I hate you and mean it. Only a true asshole would have done that to you. It does matter how much he hurt no excuses. Malachi thought about everything they said he wrote another post. I guess I was being naive towards my brother. I don't think we can go the way we were. I feel like deep down inside I hate him just can't bring myself to say to his face. Matt got a text it was another link this time it was blog posts with the name Mark Massie the name sounded so familiar they said under it what would you do know your own brother hates you and nothing you can do to make him love you again? So what if Nick hates me the feeling is mutual Matt thought to himself then he thought if Nick hates me when was he so happy to see me. No, it couldn't be. Matt went to the pics on his phone to one of him Nick and Malachi together they all were so happy so this will never happen again? He felt like crying while having a panic attack he took out a razor he pressed to his arm he cut he started to feel better he watched the blood. He texted Nick he wanted to know what was really going on. 

Do you hate me? 

No, but that doesn't matter. I know how to feel about me. why are you asking? 

Just checking I'm glad. 

Did someone say I hate you to f with your head? 

Never mind. They said your brother hates you and nothing you can do to make him love you again   
Are you its not Malachi? No matter how many times you say I hate you I'll always love you. Thanks 

Nick Matt wondered if Malachi really said that or they were saying that to be mean he knew Malachi would never answer if tried to text or call so he just put out of his head. Nick called Malachi he wanted to know what was going on at his side and everything  
"Hi, Nick."  
"Hi, Mal."  
"What's up?"  
"We need to talk."  
"About what?"  
"Matt."  
"I don't want to sound like a jerk but I don't care."  
"Are you saying you hate him?"  
"So what. I have a big reason for saying that."  
"I know but you can't hate him forever."  
"I'm done talking unless you want to talk about something else"  
"Sorry I brought it up I'm just worried about him."  
"what he did was fd up buy no one cares about how it affected me and my feelings." Malachi hung up the phone Nick sent him a text  
I didn't mean it like that you know you know both you and Matt are important to me. Don't be mad  
Malachi just wrote  
Stick up for him like you always do. I'm sick of your bond. One day you going to see Matt for who he truly is and come to me say I understand why you hate him. Right now till I figure it all out don't talk to me either.  Stick up for him like you always do. I'm sick of your bond. One day you going to see Matt for who he truly is and come to me say I understand why you hate him. Right now till I figure it all out don't talk to me either. Nick didn't know what to think it hurt a little bit but you figure in a day or two things with cool off. He shot him one last text. 

You've seen and heard the stuff he's done to me but I still love him. I know what he's done and said to me is nothing compared to you but he needs somebody to be there for him. 

Matt fell asleep he had a flashback to when he was 16 one day Matt was in class he wasn't feeling good like he was going to be sick

"Mr. Massie it's your turn to do you report?"

"Can I go to the bathroom first?" 

"No do the report." Matt got super sick on himself someone took a pic they were all laughing and pointing he grabbed his running out. Two days later he returned to school everyone was pointing at him and whispering "Is that the kid that puked on himself in class?" He came home trying hard not to his parents he was crying but Nick stopped him

"What's wrong?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?

"Look I just want to be left alone." After a week of it, he couldn't handle it so he found dangerous ways to cope he stole one of his mom's razors he cut it hurt but felt good. One day Barbara was doing laundry she wondered why Matt's shirts had blood on them she went up to him Matt.

"Why do your shirts all have blood on them by the arm?" She noticed a fresh blood stain she pulled up his sleeve and saw the cut.

"I bumped my arm." 

"Are you doing this to yourself?" 

"Maybe." 

"Why?"

"Everyone at school is making fun of me."

"Please stop." The next day things are back to normal he stopped he looked at his arm and couldn't believe he could do that I don't ever want to do that again that Matt thought to himself luckily they heal without scarring she no one knew about it. Matt was crying in his sleep so he got up to cut it felt so good he went back to sleep when you woke up he saw a blood stain to where his arm was.


End file.
